I've recently been very facinated about celebrity deaths. Stars falling from the sky of champagne and diamonds, after they have burned out their fame. Are they giving up on their calling? Are they afraid of falling from the top in such a painful way, that they rather go away than take the pain?
The concept and cycle of becoming famous and becoming unfamous is quite twisted and sometimes it seems to be even metaphoric. But maybe it's just like the nature's cycle. Stars are born, stars are dying.
Maybe a person like me, who's obviously never been famous, doesn't understand the weight you have to carry and all the work you have to do in demand to keep your fame, and to live on the spotlight. The weight that drives people to drug problems, to alcohol problems, addictions, mental disorders... And very often to losing your fame because you can't take it no more or you can't handle all the work you have - to a mental celebrity death. Which might lead to passing the edge; to a physical celebrity death, murder on spotlight.
The scariest thing about this whole system is that I'm not scared. I want it. More than anything my goal in life is to die on the spotlight without the mental death of my inner - and outer - fame. I wanna die on the top and leave my name on the history.
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